Five nights, four championship courses, one crossing to the north side of the island. Lads plus families welcome. Read the plan, vote for the weeks you can make, and send me your answers.
I checked the long term records for Paphos to find the window with the best odds of dry golf. Mid October is the answer: one of the driest, sunniest stretches of the year, before the rainy season arrives from mid November. The only date to dodge is UK half term (26 to 30 Oct), when flights roughly double. So all three options below sit between 12 and 26 October.
Three windows, all after 12 October, all clear of half term. You can vote for more than one week: the button below opens a ready made email listing all three, so keep every week that works for you and delete the rest. The week with the most votes wins, ties get settled on the putting mat.
How it works: the button opens your email app with all three weeks and the RSVP questions prefilled. Delete the weeks you can't make, fill in the blanks and hit send. If email is a faff, just drop your letters in the group chat.
Day by day. The shape is the same whichever week wins the vote: arrival day, one round in the north, then three rounds from the villas.
UK crew lands after four and a half hours of pretending the middle seat is fine. No hire cars and no hotels on this tour: the Cyprus gang runs the airport pickups, then it is a day in Larnaca, beach, meze and a stroll along Finikoudes to loosen the travel legs. Sensible night, because there is an early alarm coming, then the tour accommodation begins in style: Mario sleeps 2, Diego sleeps 4, Brent sleeps 2, and nobody gets a duvet they did not fight for.
Travel dayCyprus gang airport pickupSofa surfing: Mario 2 / Diego 4 / Brent 2Convoy leaves Larnaca at 07:30 sharp, and the convoy waits for no one. Cross into the north at Pyla like a low budget spy film, about 90 minutes door to first tee, for a 10:00 tee off with the Kyrenia mountains behind us and the sea in front, so at least the scenery will be doing well. Handicaps are locked, excuses are not. Lunch at the clubhouse, back across the border, night out in Larnaca and a second night on the sofas, where the pecking order from night one no longer applies.
Tee off 10:00Depart 07:30, no exceptionsLarnaca night outA 70 minute drive west, powered by pretentious hand ground filter coffee, preferably a gesha smuggled in by Deafy, and denial about last night. Secret Valley is carved through rock formations that are millions of years old, making them slightly younger than some of the drivers in our bags. While we play, the families either meet us at Aphrodite Hills or check the villas in, proving once again who the organised ones are. Straight off the 18th into base camp, supermarket run, BBQ, and the pairings draw, which is definitely not rigged.
Tee off ~11:00Families check in the villasBBQ and pairings drawThe Sir Nick Faldo design, 25 minutes up the coast. Faldo built every hole as a strategic riddle, and by the back nine several of us will have answered all of them incorrectly. Sea views from nearly every hole, so there is something lovely to look at while searching the limestone for your ball. Families get the spa and pools while the scores settle, then it is souvla night at the villas, where the cooking will comfortably outscore the golf.
Tee off ~09:30Family resort daySouvla nightThe finale on our doorstep. Two plateaus split by a ravine, including the famous par three across the gorge, which has ended more tour dreams than the airport bar. Final round decides the champion, and the ravine decides everyone else. Then the prize giving dinner at the clubhouse: trophies, daily prizes, and the loser’s speech, delivered standing, no notes, and no mercy.
Tee off ~10:00Prize giving dinnerA slow breakfast where last night’s speeches get reviewed like match footage. Villa checkout, and mercifully Paphos airport is only 20 minutes away, which is about as long as the champion will go without mentioning it. Anyone staying on can extend the villas. Everyone else flies home to start practising for next year.
PFO 20 min from villasGreen fees below are indicative shoulder season rates per round and get confirmed when we book. Group bookings of eight plus usually unlock a discount and we can pre book buggies.
The only course on the north side, set between the Kyrenia mountains and the Med. Tree lined, natural and a completely different feel to the Paphos courses. We do it as a day raid from Larnaca: early convoy up, 10:00 tee off, back across the border by evening.
Sheltered valley course surrounded by sculpted rock, right next to Aphrodite’s Rock. The most forgiving of the four, a good one to have early while the swings warm up.
Widely rated the best track on the island. Faldo designed every hole as a strategic riddle: carob trees, limestone and fast paspalum surfaces. Bring your course management.
Two plateaus split by a dramatic ravine, with the famous par three across the gorge. It is on our doorstep, so the perfect stage for the final round and the prize giving that follows.
No hotels on this tour. Two nights on sofas in Larnaca (Mario sleeps 2, Diego sleeps 4, Brent sleeps 2), then three nights in villas on the Aphrodite Hills estate. Families skip the sofa leg and arrive on day three, either meeting us at the resort or checking the villas in while the golf is on. Private pools, five minutes to the village square, ten minutes to Secret Valley, and the finale course is literally around the corner.
Fly direct to Paphos (PFO), about 4 hours 30 minutes. Jet2, easyJet, Ryanair, BA and TUI all fly the route from Gatwick, Stansted, Luton, Heathrow, Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol and Edinburgh. Shoulder season returns typically run £80 to £200 if booked a couple of months out.
Custom polos with the tour crest, name and number on the sleeve. Send me your size with your RSVP. Order goes in six weeks before we fly.
€50 per shirtEveryone playing puts into the pot. Covers the trophy, daily prizes and the champion’s prize at the final dinner. Cash or Revolut before round one.
€50 per playerIndividual Stableford across all four rounds, best three of four scores count. Daily nearest the pin and longest drive. Handicaps declared and locked before Korineum.
No sandbagging